After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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