I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Randomize
