I accidentally had phone sex last night
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
