we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
