So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
this just has baby written all over it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize