So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
