Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
