Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
