Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
