Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
home. puking in laundry basket.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
