i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
