we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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