Do vagina's smell?
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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