she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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