You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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