Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
