I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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