Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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