Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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