Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
