I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
