It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
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