Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize