trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
