I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
