Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
