I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
