So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
