after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
