Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
