One girl and one boy is just not enough.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
