Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
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