apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
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and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
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I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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