I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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