Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
