do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
