did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...