are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
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