I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
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dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?