My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.