I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
