How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize