I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
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