No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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