Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
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