ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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