Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
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