I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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