Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
