OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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