I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
home. puking in laundry basket.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Randomize
