Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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