i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
