then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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