Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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