She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Randomize
