I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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