i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
now i know why i became what i already was.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
