I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
