This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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