umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize