dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize